Friday, June 24, 2011

Do you want me to get on a box?

Today I spent the majority of my time(in between loads of laundry)listening to one of my very favorite preachers on line. It was such a blessing to be able to just hear good preaching again. I find myself under preaching less frequent than is healthy, with children's ministries now that we have started a church. And to be honest, before we moved 1200 miles to plant this new church, I actually listened to great preaching on the radio at my job for a good part of my work day. I have really missed that. I grew so much as I listened to such great preachers and teachers! What a source of wisdom, understanding, and truth we are blessed with at our fingertips in this day and age! I could just sit and listen all day every day! I feel so close to God and encouraged to exhort others, and get in the word in a more meaningful way, to live more intentionally for Christ in all I do and say, and think! So this afternoon I felt full, and excited ready to roll up my sleeves! I felt so good.

But tonight, this evening it was a little different. I went to a internet talk show called On The Box, by Way Of The Master. It didn't have the same effect, I was not feeling so "good" after a few episodes.


I love the show and I love what these guys do, but... but I feel such conviction when I witness the open air preaching that these men (and Trish) do. I am not sure that I believe it is the very best way to preach the Gospel,nor it is it so that I feel called to stand on a box and preach the Gospel to passers by at the top of my lungs. That's not really the point. The problem comes when I have to admit that even if I felt the clear call of God telling me that He desires for me to do that....I don't know if I would. As a matter of fact, I am afraid that I would find reason after reason (excuse after excuse)why I should NOT do it.

I really want to say yes to God in everything. But yet as I imagine that scene I am increasingly uncomfortable. In such a way that I know it is the flesh saying "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" It hurts, the conviction comes over me and I am truly torn! As I write, I stop to collect myself as emotion sweeps over me. I feel as though I may need to conquer this flesh by mortifying it in this very thing. I wonder if I may need to do it just so that I can bring my flesh into submission in this area that it obviously thinks it is boss!

I am curious if anyone has ever had a struggle similar to this one...where you just know that the flesh is pretty much saying..."Don't even go there" that maybe God hasn't called you to do such and such or NOT do such and such, has your flesh drawn a line in the sand before it is even a consideration? What did you do? I really want to know. Please if you can offer some advise leave some feedback. Don't focus on the specifics of the box, but more on the battle I am having with my worst enemy, my flesh.

And I can't help but to also challenge you to soul search...what is your box?

Is there anything that you know if God asked you to do it, you would say "no".

Become a missionary to Jamaica? What about Iran
Stop dating the one you love?
Change careers? Even at half the income?
Quit your job to stay home with your children?
Quit homeschooling,take a job, putting your children in public school?
Move away from your family and friends?
Tell your co-workers about Christ?
Stop looking at the websites you know you shouldn't be looking at?
"Unfriend" on FB the "old friend" you have an emotional bond with that should be exclusively with your spouse?

So what is God saying to you about it? What are you going to do? What am I going to do?

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